The Great Beard Challenge

Better late than never

2007-09-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

The beard challenge has in fact ended. The delay in announcing the winner was due to the fact that we had to raise funds to rent out the Hubble Space Telescope so that we could actually find some proof of hair growth.

Using the power of the telescope, I was unanimously declared the winner... Thank you for your support and votes.

The Great Beard Challenge - Where are they now?

2007-09-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

Sean
Sean, in his shame, returned to Canada where he participated in a body hair growth research experiment. While the results are classified, it is reported that the experiment went catastrophicaly awry at which point Sean fled in to the woods.

A possible photograph was taken sometime later. Aside from this shaky photographic evidence, Sean's fate remains largely unknown.

Jesse
Jesse's magnificent, contest winning beard was imbued with magic and gave him untold power. Or at least that's what his dellusional mind thought. While attempting to impress a girl he jumped off of his balcony and fell to his death.

Scot
It was determined later that Scot had not actually participated in the contest, but it was in fact his evil twin. The real Scot who had been imprissoned in an alternate world escaped and returned to our world where he promptly dispatched the evil twin and assigned me 3 bugs.

Ross
Ross grew his beard out in a matter of three weeks because he was always able to. I hate him, and I don't want to talk about it.

Jesus
Well, he basically was just still all Jesus and stuff

Jesus Gets DQ'd

2007-08-24T20:01:00.001-07:00

This just in Great Beard Challenge fans! The competition that originally started with 4 has lost another member. Today at 2:34 AM the home of Jesus of Nazareth was raided on suspision of illegal means to grow a beard where Jesus was found to be using supernatural powers to grow his beard. Great Beard Challenge officials immediately disqualified him from the competition.

"I thought it was weird when he had a full beard on the first day of the competition" - one anonymous competitor named Sean said in a statement to the press.

Jesus's Mug Shot

"You know, I expect this kind of thing out of the Canadian, but Jesus? Really? That one threw me for a loop." said a GBC fan.

When asked for coment Jesus said, "I was only doing what came naturally to me. Can you ask a bird to not fly, or a bee not to sting? Would you ask Jesse to not be a tool with women? I think in our hearts, we all know the answer to that question."

With the odds on favorite out of the competition, the race is heating up as we come in to the home stretch. The first annual GBC is anyone's game.

bearden day 21

2007-08-21T16:44:00.001-07:00

bearden day 21 side

2007-08-21T16:43:00.003-07:00

neden day 21

2007-08-21T16:43:00.001-07:00

neden day 21 side

2007-08-21T16:42:00.001-07:00

jesus day 21

2007-08-21T16:41:00.001-07:00

Special thanks to Liang for introducing us to Raptor Jesus.

bearden day 18

2007-08-21T16:29:00.003-07:00

bearden day 18 side

2007-08-21T16:29:00.001-07:00

neden day 18

2007-08-21T16:28:00.001-07:00

neden day 18 side

2007-08-21T16:27:00.003-07:00

ross day 18

2007-08-21T16:27:00.001-07:00

ross day 18 side

2007-08-21T16:26:00.001-07:00

jesus day 18

2007-08-21T16:25:00.001-07:00

bearden day 17

2007-08-16T17:31:00.001-07:00

bearden day 17 side

2007-08-16T17:30:00.003-07:00

neden day 17

2007-08-16T17:30:00.001-07:00

neden day 17 side

2007-08-16T17:29:00.003-07:00

ross day 17

2007-08-16T17:29:00.001-07:00

ross day 17 side

2007-08-16T17:28:00.003-07:00

jesus day 17

2007-08-16T17:28:00.001-07:00

bearden day 16

2007-08-15T17:56:00.003-07:00

bearden day 16 side

2007-08-15T17:56:00.001-07:00

neden day 16

2007-08-15T17:55:00.003-07:00

neden day 16 side

2007-08-15T17:55:00.001-07:00

ross day 16

2007-08-15T17:54:00.005-07:00

ross day 16 side

2007-08-15T17:54:00.003-07:00

jesus day 16

2007-08-15T17:54:00.001-07:00

bearden day 15

2007-08-14T18:01:00.001-07:00

bearden day 15 side

2007-08-14T18:00:00.003-07:00

neden day 15

2007-08-14T18:00:00.001-07:00

neden day 15 side

2007-08-14T17:59:00.005-07:00

ross day 15

2007-08-14T17:59:00.003-07:00

ross day 15 side

2007-08-14T17:59:00.001-07:00

jesus day 15

2007-08-14T17:58:00.001-07:00

A Dropout and a New Challenger

2007-08-14T17:21:00.000-07:00

I know that there wasn't a daily update yesterday, and to the 2 of you that read this, I am sorry Mom and Dad. We have had some recent changes to the contest. We lost Scoteb to a wife that doesnt like scratchy faces, but in his stead, a new contender emerges. This one is already a champion beard grower and also a little more Irish. Rossda shaved his considerable KAB on Monday and is now in a race to catch up. Which leads me to our new poll. How long until Ross catches up. My vote is for yesterday...

1ncredib1e growth !s possib1e!!

2007-08-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

This just in! By utilizing a revolutionary product from ebay I was able to achieve incredible growth! Supposedly as many as 300,000 men are now satisfied because of it, and now so am I. And of course the best part is the ladies love it! I had felt insecure about my beard size, but not anymore. Thanks Dr. Smiths.

Vote for the 2 week winner

2007-08-10T14:23:00.001-07:00

Click on the pictures for a close up of the KAB's

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Nerd Word(s): KAB

2007-08-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

KAB

- Acronym(Kick Ass Beard)

1. A beard that is really awesome
2. A beard that demands attention
3. A beard that gets the ladies

[ Origin: When Sean and I grew our first beards(Read: stuble) many years ago(Read: last week), we began calling them our "Kick Ass Beard's". This was eventually made in to a TLA, as we programmers have a tendency to do with everything. ]

- usage

1. Random wimpy guy: "There's no way I can get the lid off that jar. It's on too tight."
Me: "Let a man with a KAB take care of it"

2. Sean: "So, you asked her out and she shut you down?"
Me: "Yeah, I think she was intimidated by my KAB"

- see also
KAG(Kick Ass Goatee) - What Scot's face has decided to grow on it's own.

- examples
See every picture of me Sean taken in the past two weeks.

bearden day 11

2007-08-10T13:05:00.003-07:00

bearden day 11 side

2007-08-10T13:05:00.001-07:00

neden day 11

2007-08-10T13:04:00.003-07:00

neden day 11 side

2007-08-10T13:04:00.001-07:00

bryant day 11

2007-08-10T13:03:00.001-07:00

bryant day 11 side

2007-08-10T13:02:00.001-07:00

jesus day 11

2007-08-10T13:01:00.001-07:00

Im pretty sure that lamb has a better beard than us...

jesus day 10

2007-08-09T16:07:00.001-07:00

bearden day 10

2007-08-09T16:05:00.003-07:00

beady little eyes

bearden day 10 side

2007-08-09T16:05:00.001-07:00

neden day 10

2007-08-09T16:04:00.001-07:00

If he looks hardcore, its mostly due to his sweet ass beard...

neden day 10 side

2007-08-09T16:03:00.003-07:00

scoteb day 10

2007-08-09T16:03:00.001-07:00

scoteb day 10 side

2007-08-09T16:02:00.001-07:00

jesus day 9

2007-08-08T14:47:00.001-07:00

Jesus does not allow photographs. Here is an artist's rendering.

bearden day 9

2007-08-08T14:37:00.003-07:00

bearden day 9 side

2007-08-08T14:37:00.001-07:00

neden day 9

2007-08-08T14:36:00.003-07:00

neden day 9 side

2007-08-08T14:36:00.001-07:00

Scoteb day 9 side

2007-08-08T14:35:00.001-07:00

Scoteb day 9

2007-08-08T14:34:00.001-07:00

bearden day 4

2007-08-03T16:32:00.001-07:00

bearden day 4 side

2007-08-03T16:31:00.003-07:00

neden day 4

2007-08-03T16:31:00.001-07:00

neden day 4 side

2007-08-03T16:30:00.003-07:00

As photographed by Jimeny Crickett

scoteb day 4

2007-08-03T16:30:00.001-07:00

scoteb day 4 side

2007-08-03T16:29:00.001-07:00

bearden day 2

2007-08-03T16:28:00.005-07:00

bearden day 2 side

2007-08-03T16:28:00.003-07:00

neden day 2

2007-08-03T16:28:00.001-07:00

neden day 2 side

2007-08-03T16:27:00.001-07:00

bearden day 1

2007-08-03T16:26:00.003-07:00

bearden day 1 side

2007-08-03T16:26:00.001-07:00

neden day 1

2007-08-03T16:25:00.003-07:00

neden day 1 side

2007-08-03T16:25:00.001-07:00